One question I hear often is, “How are you so stylish for a mom?”
Which, first of all, I am not stylish FOR a mom. I’m stylish. Period.
Secondly, it seems to be a common theme that people expect you to live in yoga pants and tees once you have a child. Which, definitely happens during the first year at least. That doesn’t, however, actually mean that moms wearing yoga pants aren’t stylish. It just means they’re tired and not willing to get baby vomit on their favorite dress.
So lets talk about how to keep your style when you’re a mom. After all, it is easy to lose sight of what you love in a sea of diapers, toys, and sleepless nights. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rolled out of bed to throw on tights and Vans before running off to work. Usually it’s after a night of Averi running a fever. Often, I’m just lazy.
Because, fuck dude, my life is hectic.
I think the biggest hurdle in maintaining your style is guilt. A lot of moms, myself included, find it hard to spend money on themselves. Even when things are on sale! Which lends to the idea that all moms lack style. Because we’re all rockin’ four year old tights from Target and a tee that has seen better days. We know how to dress, we just don’t do it.
So step one?
Realize that it is okay to spend money on yourself.
As long as the bills are paid and the kids have what they need, it’s totally fine to get yourself a nice skirt. It’s fine if that skirt is $30. It’s cool if the skirt is $100. You don’t have to shrink away from spoiling yourself simply because you birthed a child. Your life isn’t just about the kid. You don’t have to sacrifice fucking everything!
I’m serious. You don’t have to give up everything when you become a mom. You don’t have to leave behind dresses with cut outs, tattoos, or deep v tops. You are still a person, so stop feeling guilty about spending money on yourself.
This also bleeds into point two-
Embrace YOUR style.
Don’t go buying longer dresses and flat shoes because your style doesn’t mesh with being a mom. Society might expect you to become a saint now that you have done us all a favor and ushered in a member of the next generation, but you’re not. And that’s cool. So if you’re style happens to involve fish nets- wear ’em.
There are more than enough expectations placed on us as mothers. And it is hard not to cave into those expectations. The reality is that people will judge you no matter what you do, so you might as well live your best life!
Streamline your wardrobe.
I feel like this might be THE most helpful tip. Personally, if I have too many options when getting ready, I will default to Lazy Uniform. The idea is that you should be able to yank any two items out of your closet and they’ll go together. The tips for making this happen?
- Get rid of anything you don’t love, don’t wear, or don’t fit into.
- Only purchase items that will go with at least two other items in your closet.
So if you’re ridding yourself of closet clutter while only adding items that pair with what you have, getting dressed in the morning should be a breeze. This means you’re far more likely to pull yourself together for the day and less likely to reach for your yoga pants.
Honestly, the biggest thing you can do to maintain your personal style as a mom is to try to make your life easier. Stop guilting yourself, stop listening to other people’s opinions, and start cleaning out your closet. When you refill it- be thoughtful about your selections.
And at the same time- who gives a shit if you aren’t entirely pulled together? Even in this set- Averi’ hair is a mess, mine was falling out, and I definitely forgot to wear some lipstick. It’s whatever! Just do you and everything will be fine.
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BTS: Averi was losing her shit over the fact that she had been allowed Sprite. I was losing my shit over the fact that I forgot to brush her hair.